In coming to your realization about old narratives bleeding into new situations, you found grace. In finding grace, you were able to forgive yourself and beyond. You then offered grace and forgiveness to this new landscaper. Ending the day in a hug. Beautiful!
Thank you so much Nancy for breathing life into the story. And grace is not a one time deal.
It’s a daily decision. Some days, I miss the mark. But that day…a lesson was born.
Today, he came back to finish the job of power washing. And we had a conversation about his home country, which I visited but he hasn’t seen since he was a child.
I have only one souvenir from his country. A beautiful fridge magnet. I gave it to him. And he went in his car and gifted me a tiny bird from his country. This was a 5D moment.
Perfect timing on reading this one. I appreciate your analysis of shame. I appreciate your finding of GRACE. Now my problem is that my similar "someone really f**ked up" situation involves a young white (most likely Trump supporting) male at my local AT&T. He has totally mismanaged my transfer of cell phone and internet services from another company. And along the way to straightening out all of the unfortunate events of the last 6 weeks (including finding out that my new phone had never actually been ordered), I discovered this particular brick storefront is a FRANCHISE not corporate AT&T. The only two corporate ones in my state are each a minimum of an hour's drive away from me.
Corporate workers are on salary; the franchisees must turn their jobs into a livable wage with commissions. And that's why there was a sleazy used car dealership feeling to the entire experience. This young Trumper had tried to scam me with additional charges that doubled the quoted amount of my bill.
There is no higher up to complain to; he is the manager at the franchise site. This is what life has become in rural white AmeriKKKa, where a person of color has no choices on going to someone else when services are botched up.
So wish me well with finding my grace and getting resolution... AND MY NEW PHONE
Thank you. As I strap on my Clear Communication Armor and prep for round #3 on "get past the AI to an actual human being for a conversation", I have learned to set myself up with gentle balancing self-care moments while I cut through the BS on the phone! I have disciplined myself to limit this madness to one hour a day into the future/made financial arrangements with corporate that keep these bastards out of my bank account while this is getting untangled/ and I gift myself a mini creampuff reward (for every 15 minutes that I spend on this task) 😉😋
I have now learned the difference between a franchise and a corporate office.
(in big business lingo)
The difficult human who began this downward spiral has a reputation in "the corporate end" although they have no responsibility for "any franchise folks".
Two steps forward one step back..
I have finally gotten to humans even if they are passing me back-and-forth
I have reported everything to the state attorney general's office (they host the Consumer Assistance Program; or what is left of it)
Next round of skillful Spiritual aikido with AT&T corporate will be Tuesday. Followed by a FULL BODY MASSAGE 💆🏽♀️
Thank you Leisa for sharing your thoughts and for your support. You are absolutely right. It is a blessing that ripples outward because we are not silos. It's all a mirror effect.
Powerful. I especially resonated with “I didn't make a mistake. I am the mistake.” So much of our early training—particularly in school—centers on getting the “right” answer. It’s a good way to create domesticated, people-pleasing perfection chasers. There is so much freedom on the other side of being “right.”
In coming to your realization about old narratives bleeding into new situations, you found grace. In finding grace, you were able to forgive yourself and beyond. You then offered grace and forgiveness to this new landscaper. Ending the day in a hug. Beautiful!
Thank you so much Nancy for breathing life into the story. And grace is not a one time deal.
It’s a daily decision. Some days, I miss the mark. But that day…a lesson was born.
Today, he came back to finish the job of power washing. And we had a conversation about his home country, which I visited but he hasn’t seen since he was a child.
I have only one souvenir from his country. A beautiful fridge magnet. I gave it to him. And he went in his car and gifted me a tiny bird from his country. This was a 5D moment.
Perfect timing on reading this one. I appreciate your analysis of shame. I appreciate your finding of GRACE. Now my problem is that my similar "someone really f**ked up" situation involves a young white (most likely Trump supporting) male at my local AT&T. He has totally mismanaged my transfer of cell phone and internet services from another company. And along the way to straightening out all of the unfortunate events of the last 6 weeks (including finding out that my new phone had never actually been ordered), I discovered this particular brick storefront is a FRANCHISE not corporate AT&T. The only two corporate ones in my state are each a minimum of an hour's drive away from me.
Corporate workers are on salary; the franchisees must turn their jobs into a livable wage with commissions. And that's why there was a sleazy used car dealership feeling to the entire experience. This young Trumper had tried to scam me with additional charges that doubled the quoted amount of my bill.
There is no higher up to complain to; he is the manager at the franchise site. This is what life has become in rural white AmeriKKKa, where a person of color has no choices on going to someone else when services are botched up.
So wish me well with finding my grace and getting resolution... AND MY NEW PHONE
I’m sorry you are dealing with this situation Dr Parham.
It sounds frustrating and isolating. I’m glad you took the time to read about Grace and shame.
I’ve had quite a few customer service stand outs myself. But it wasn’t always as a result of a mistake.
It was as a result of lack of accountability and care. It’s like a trigger.
Surprisingly, the mistake isn’t the trigger. It’s the response to the mistake.
Especially when as a customer, any mistake will cost you. But to the corporations, mistakes are met with a flat “sorry.”
I can understand your frustration. I still believe in accountability so with grace, know that everyone has a higher up. A
franchise manager is definitely not the last person to make it right. They answer to headquarters too. Good luck in finding a resolution!
Thank you. As I strap on my Clear Communication Armor and prep for round #3 on "get past the AI to an actual human being for a conversation", I have learned to set myself up with gentle balancing self-care moments while I cut through the BS on the phone! I have disciplined myself to limit this madness to one hour a day into the future/made financial arrangements with corporate that keep these bastards out of my bank account while this is getting untangled/ and I gift myself a mini creampuff reward (for every 15 minutes that I spend on this task) 😉😋
"This too shall pass"...
UPDATE:
I have now learned the difference between a franchise and a corporate office.
(in big business lingo)
The difficult human who began this downward spiral has a reputation in "the corporate end" although they have no responsibility for "any franchise folks".
Two steps forward one step back..
I have finally gotten to humans even if they are passing me back-and-forth
I have reported everything to the state attorney general's office (they host the Consumer Assistance Program; or what is left of it)
Next round of skillful Spiritual aikido with AT&T corporate will be Tuesday. Followed by a FULL BODY MASSAGE 💆🏽♀️
Isn’t it amazing how healing can bring us so much peace? And I love the ripple effect it has around us. Such a blessing.❤️
Thank you Leisa for sharing your thoughts and for your support. You are absolutely right. It is a blessing that ripples outward because we are not silos. It's all a mirror effect.
Powerful. I especially resonated with “I didn't make a mistake. I am the mistake.” So much of our early training—particularly in school—centers on getting the “right” answer. It’s a good way to create domesticated, people-pleasing perfection chasers. There is so much freedom on the other side of being “right.”